The Forgotten Children

The majority of mothers are brilliant, I know, I had one myself, but there is a gap in child protection that the law and the governments turn a blind eye to. Sadly mothers can abuse children as well as fathers, or others.
The law and governments stop dads and grandparents having contact with their children to appease the mother and the abuse can go on until it becomes so bad that a neighbour or someone else is horrified and calls in the police. The NSPCC are highlighting the abuse of children by mothers in their latest adverts, but the law and governments in their blinkered approach, protect the mother and allow this abuse to continue. When a contact order is granted by a court in the child’s best interests with dad or grandparents and if the mother ignores it, it is seldom enforced allowing this kind of abuse to go on unnoticed until it is too late.

The child in this story is called Patrick. His name has been changed to protect his identity as he is now in care.

Patrick’s mother and father could not live together any longer so they separated and Patrick stayed with his mother. His dad was able to see him anytime he could and father and son still had a good relationship. Then it got worse, when dad came round to see him and his mum they would always argue, one day Patrick’s mum was hitting his dad and he pushed her off, knocking her over. She banged her head and had to go to hospital. The hospital called the police and dad was arrested.

When his mum got out of hospital she told Patrick he would never see his dad again. This broke Patrick’s heart and he cried a lot for his dad. Patrick’s mum told him that if his dad came around again he would be put in jail. Patrick was very unhappy about this and tried to tell his mum, but she just said he had to do as he was told. She tells him not to speak to his dad if he does contact him. As if not seeing his dad was distressing enough, now his mum also said he was not allowed to see his gran and granda in case his dad was around. He couldn’t understand this as they were always kind and loving toward him. The grandparents protested trying to explain to her that the problem was between her and her husband and not to take it out on Patrick. Mum went to court and told Patrick that if they tried to get in touch they would be put in jail too.

Patrick was very sad at not having his dad or grandparents around and his mother was drinking a lot. It wasn’t so bad before, when dad was around to make dinner and put mum to bed before gran and granda came round and saw her. They would come to see Patrick and play with him or take him out.

As time went by Patrick’s mum was drinking more and more and Patrick had to try and get his own food, if there was any. Mum forgot to get food quite often and only seemed to bring home vodka. His mum fell asleep a lot and Patrick was left alone in the house and was very hungry. When he tried to speak to his mum about not having anything to eat, she pushed him away and really hurt him. She said next day she was sorry but it happened again, so often that Patrick kept out of her way. He had a lot of bruises from falling over when she hit him, telling him it was his fault for the miserable life she had.

One day Patrick was so hungry and his mum was lying down drunk again, he went to a neighbour to ask for something to eat. The neighbour saw the state he was in and phoned his dad as they used to be good friends. His dad hurried round but by this time his mum had woken up. When she saw his dad at the door she called the police and his dad was arrested. Mum warned Patrick never to do that again and promised him a right thrashing if he did.

Dad, gran and granda could not see him or contact him and Patrick’s mum was drinking more and more. He did not have enough to eat and wasn’t being looked after properly so he became very ill. After a few days a neighbour saw Patrick at their bin looking for something to eat and noticed how thin and ill he looked. So this time, the neighbour called the police who found Patrick’s mum lying on the sofa drunk. An ambulance was called and Patrick was taken to hospital but he was so malnourished and bruised that he would be affected for life.

The reason Patrick’s life was ruined was that no family could get contact to see if he was being looked after. His dad, gran and granda could not come near or they would have been put in jail. If his dad or grandparents had been allowed to see him this would never have happened. The father and grandparents are refused to care for him because of the fracas earlier on with the mother.

In effect the law allowed the mother to build a fortress around herself and Patrick. The law aided and abetted to keep out anyone the mother did not like, people who could have helped put a stop to Patrick’s abuse before it was too late.